#5 Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Tools Guy

@Paladin

Discouraging (September 29, 2011)

So as none of you know(because we have no readers), I happen to be a self-published author. My website, TheCourseBooks.com recieves no hits and my blog has no followers. I write books that no one reads.

Why? Well, for the past few months, I've been taking in every seminar I can find on how to become a successful writer. And for those of you(none of you) reading this, I will now helpfully distill everything you need into one very simple point:

Be a social butterlfy.

That's basically it. Be a social butterfly, have five zillion friends on facebook/myspace/google+/whateversocialnetworkingsiteisbigthisweek, be known for something other than writing, because that is apparently the only way you are going to sell books.

So you, in summary: either be Tila Tequilla or spend 30 years as a journalist or a member of the publishing industry.

For the rest of us: suck it.

@Astrozombie

Bah (September 29, 2011)

Internet, behold the wonder that is Tools Guy. Originally I knew his job, but then I thought he was the IT guy, but then I confirmed with Paladin (who forgot his password again today) that Tools Guy is in fact a tools programmer for the fictitious company SomethingSoft in which our fateful heroes are employed. Instead of doing his job, he makes plugins that accidentally make monitors commit suicide. In the last frame you see a monitor ingesting a hefty amount of pills in order to off itself. I would like to take this time to say both Paladin and I DO NOT in any way condone Monitor suicide.

No computers or monitors were harmed during the making of this comic, but I hate my laptop and I kinda want to throw it at the wall.